![]() ![]() While it might be tempting in the moment to grab whatever is on the bedside table, it's important to remember you're playing with fire. "Household candles typically have a much higher melting point," Lola warned, adding that "candles with scent can give you a third-degree burn because the scents themselves can get superheated."īrame also cautioned against using any candles with dyes or fragrances, as the different melting points and heat of other added ingredients in a candle can cause chemical burns. If you need to use a nonspecialized candle for whatever reason, keep it simple and safe with a pure white, unscented, undyed candle.īoth Brame and Lola emphasized the danger of using any regular household candles you might have lying around. Whether you're a beginner or a seasoned pro, you should primarily focus on melting points when choosing a candle. Paraffin candles can differ from one another in the grade of the paraffin used, but this isn't all that important. It seems like paraffin is the best way to go for the drip-and-harden effect, whereas oilier candles have a lower burn rate and less smoke than other candles. While massage wax-play candles are often made of especially low-melting-point ingredients and oilier substances such as soy, many common wax-play candles are made of paraffin. You can use massage candles or specialized wax-play candles-wherever you buy them, make sure to read the instructions carefully and test the candle on yourself before using it on anyone else. Low-temperature candles are widely available and often labeled according to the melting point. ![]() While candles can vary in melting point, changing the height is a great way to adjust to your partner's desires at the moment and find the temperature they enjoy the most. The other way to adjust the temperature of the wax during play is by changing the distance from which you drip the candle, which gives the wax more time to cool in the air as it falls. Low-temperature candles melt quicker, so the wax is more beginner-friendly and less likely to feel too intense or cause burns. "The longer it takes to melt something, the hotter it will be," Lola said. What's the best temperature for hot wax for sex?Īccording to both Lola and Brame, one of the keys to wax play is the melting point. Experimenting with the practice is key to discovering what you like best. The anticipation of wax dripping onto your skin, the sensation of it cooling and hardening on skin, the removal of the wax-each sensation plays an equal part in the experience. The heat of the wax is only one aspect of wax play. This is why the hot wax kink is more often a part of sensation play than part of BDSM, because the body reacts to different kinds of stimuli on the skin, only one of which is pain. "Done safely, it can simply be a sensual exploration of your body's reactions to temperature change." ![]() "You don't need to enjoy pain or intense sensation for wax play," said Gloria Brame, an Athens, Georgia-based sexologist and author. "We get a lot of people who want to spice things up or are looking to explore something new, and wax play feels less subversive, so it's easier to access," she said. Shag, a sex shop in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York, where Lola also works, caters to beginner kink. Wax play is a "gateway kink," according to Dirty Lola, a sex educator and creator of Sex Ed A Go-Go, a go-go dancing show and sex ed Q&A. Hot wax play requires a little more care, attention and technique than just lighting the wick. Wax play can be as intense as you want it to be, from massage candles that melt at body temperature to paraffin, high-melting-point candles made specifically for sadomasochistic wax play.ĭon't rush to the pantry and fish out those old birthday candles from the back, though. This can include anything from bringing superhot wax into the bedroom to freezing a sex toy before use. Sensation play, specifically temperature play, is about exposing the body to different or unexpected temperatures. I'll spare you the puns about "heating things up" and "getting hot and heavy." While it's commonly considered BDSM, hot wax play is a form of sensation play that can fall under the BDSM umbrella, but it doesn't necessarily have to. ![]() So, you're interested in introducing wax into the bedroom. ![]()
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